Timeframe: pre-HP (Marauder’s era)
Characters: Remus, Sirius
Rating: PG
Genre: drama
Summary: There was one thing Remus feared above all else.
Warnings: angst, SPOILERS for HP books and films
Disclaimer: I don’t own the HP stories or characters. They belong to Rowling and co. I only borrow them. No money is being made from this, nor is it sought after.
He was too old for it, Remus derided himself. Once again, he’d gone to bed with curtains tightly drawn, his thin frame shaking and cheeks salty-wet. The scars that never healed laced his skin, but it was their cause that hurt him until he had no energy left to stop his tears.
It was nearly time for the monthly event that stole his humanity and threw all he held dear into peril. The transformation wouldn’t have been too bad, if only Remus could never endanger anyone. But he didn’t have that assurance and after the scare with Snape, last year, he’d grown more afraid than ever.
Glancing up through a crack in the bed curtains, Remus saw the moon out the window and ground his teeth. He’d taken potions, submitted to examinations from Dumbledore and other professors, even tried starving himself. Nothing worked. There were no miracle drugs, no magical solutions. He was a werewolf, and he could no more fight moonlight than the tide could.
Screwing his eyes shut, Remus tried to forget, but he couldn’t. Every time he slept, lately, he’d seen the same thing.
“Sirius!”
Remus was falling to his knees beside his friend’s still form.
“Oh Sirius!”
There was no reply. Only a waving blue light that drifted across them both.
Remus shook violently.
“I’ve killed him!” he tried to cry, but all he could voice was a wolf’s howl.
“Sirius!”
Flying up from his pillows, Remus stared with wide eyes. He was sweating profusely. Where was he? Then he felt something soft nosing his hand.
“Padfoot?”
A low snuffling sound answered, and the big, black dog that was Sirius’s animal form, wriggled onto the bed.
“What are you doing?” Remus demanded. “If anyone sees you, you’ll catch it!”
The dog did not reply, only settled down next to Remus, curling around him and gazing at him with large eyes gleaming faintly.
Shaking his head, Remus closed the curtains and set a silencing charm on them. He must have forgotten to do so when he went to bed, he realized, because he had obviously woken Padfoot. Although it might mean teasing from his friend next morning, he was thankful for his mistake.
Sirius’s presence had a calming affect Remus needed. Remus wasn’t entirely sure why, but perhaps it was the quiet confidence his friend had. Or maybe it was because they were both linked in the canine realm. Whatever it was, Remus never wanted to lose it.
Twining his fingers deep into the dog’s fur, Remus sank back down into his blankets and let the heat of Padfoot’s protective body seep through him. Then he felt wet roughness on his face and realized it was Padfoot’s tongue lapping at his tearstained cheeks. At any other time, Remus would have been embarrassed, but tonight he was too tired to care.
He stared into the darkness while Padfoot licked him clean, intending to stay awake, to ensure the nightmare wouldn’t return. But as the dog finished and rested his head against him, Remus felt himself weighing down into the soft bed. With fingers still twined in Padfoot’s fur, Remus relinquished his struggle, sinking into deep and dreamless sleep.
Beside him, Padfoot gazed up at the moon with a defiant glint in his eyes. I’ll fight you to the end, he vowed silently. For a long time, the dog and the cruel planet stared at each other. Then a cloud drifted before the glowing orb and it was finally dark.
~
Photograph of moon, by Orland Hooge, from an unknown source.
0 comments:
Post a Comment